I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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