Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
