dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
