roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
