No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize