Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
