Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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