Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My vagina just recognized that song.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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