he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
