gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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