But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
do herpes really smell.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
