Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
