I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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