just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
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