i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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