Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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