Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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