We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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