Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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