would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
