i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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