I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
