Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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