Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
