if only i could text you this smell
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
