you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize