He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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