I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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