It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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