my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
