so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
