Small penises have feelings too.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
