this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
