Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
