this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
