I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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