Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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