no, he came in my armpit
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
