I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
