You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
