I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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