So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
