your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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