i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
