Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
