I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
