Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry nikki1126 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole

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(586): View more from Michigan

it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special

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(512): View more from Texas

There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.

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(254): View more from Texas

she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best

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(516): View more from New York

We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry

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(802): View more from Vermont

i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.

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