Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
