I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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