i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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