After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
pray to the hookup gods
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize