it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
