I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
