Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
