yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The Olympian is in my bed
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
