I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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