How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
