But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You left your phone here
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