My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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