Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
