note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
