Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
