I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
