he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
it's like iHOP with fire
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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