You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
