i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
