You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
