I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
