You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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