if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
