she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
