Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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