don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
How's work?
Spinning.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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