Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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