When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
