i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
