I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize