as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
